Best Comeback Response of the Year

 If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the police man’s credibility…  

Q: "Officer — did you see my client fleeing the scene?"
A: "No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away."
Q: "Officer — who provided this description?"
A: "The officer who responded to the scene."
Q: "A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?"
A: "Yes, sir. With my life."
Q: "With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?"
A: "Yes sir, we do!"
Q: "And do you have a locker in the room?"
A: "Yes sir, I do."
Q: "And do you have a lock on your locker?"
A: "Yes sir."
Q: "Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?"
A: "You see, sir — we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room."


The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year’s "Best Comeback" line — and we think he’ll win.

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Comparison between school in 1957 vs. 2007

SCHOOL — 1957  vs. 2007

Scenario
: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1957 – Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack’s shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2007 – School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1957 –
Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2007 – Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario: Jeffrey won’t be still in class, disrupts other students.
1957 –
Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2007 – Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.

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Is that a Keylogger in your Dell?

A man working on a brand new Dell notebook noticed something odd and decided to look into it. What he found was that Dell had installed a hardware keylogger on their notebooks. The response from Dell and Homeland Security is very interesting. You can read about it and see pictures here.

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Service overview and network port requirements for the Windows Server system

Here is a link to a Microsoft page containing a list of ports Windows and it’s services use. Very Handy.

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The Y2K38 bug is coming

Did you think the Y2K bugs were done? Well they’re not! The next is the Y2K38 which begins on January 19th 2008 when 30 yr loan and other calculations will have problems. Read more about it here on Wikipedia.

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Active Directory Command Line One-Liners

FSMO Roles
ntdsutilroles Connections "Connect to server %logonserver%" Quit "selectOperation Target" "List roles for conn server" Quit Quit Quit
[JDH: This is really a series of steps, not a single command
expression]
Domain Controllers
Nltest /dclist:%userdnsdomain%
Domain Controller IP Configuration
for /f %i in (‘dsquery server -domain %userdnsdomain% -o rdn’) do psexec \\%i ipconfig /all
Stale computer accounts
dsquery computer domainroot -stalepwd 180 -limit 0
Stale user accounts
dsquery user domainroot -stalepwd 180 -limit 0
Disabled user accounts
dsquery user domainroot -disabled -limit 0
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Merry Christmas!

I wanted to wish you all a very Merry Christmas! I have included this link for some really amazing Christmas lights.

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Vista sucks video

Ok so just about everyone knows Windows Vista didn’t turn out to be the technology flagship Microsoft hoped for. Here is a well done and hilarious video about the benefits of Windows Vista. Enjoy!

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Need to find a domain name?

Easier said than done these days right? Well I have used Bust-A-Name a few times and found it to work great. They make it easy to use keywords to find available names and even register it right there for you.

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Make a shirt from a dollar bill

Check out this step-by-step walk through, you will learn how to make a very detailed collared shirt out of a one dollar bill. It makes for a unique origami project and creative way to leave a tip!

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